Wow, how life has changed since my last post. We are now living in a time where it is unsafe to be close to one another. When I wrote The Difference A Day Make, this was not what I had in mind. Who thought there would be a time when looking like bank robbers would be the normal fashion in stores. I reflect on the stress, and pains over the past few years and think yeah it did get worse. Covid-19 disrupted my practicum the professor had to scramble to find a way for those graduating this year to meet the requirement. Mission accomplished, I never doubted she could not. This month I will graduate with honors, there is no words to explain my joy. I began and achieved the goal set by myself years ago. It is never to late to change your life, all it takes is will and determination. I am proof of this fact.
My trusty companion of 20 years is ill. His kidneys are failing, the vet has given him a month to live. He has been with me since 1999. Through good, bad and ugly times he has been a constant in my life. So used to having him around, his presence was taken for granted. It took a while to notice he stopped eating, and became so thin he could barely stand.
There are no words to describe the guilt, pain, and anguish felt when I realized he was sick. Regrets and what-ifs continue surfacing in my thoughts. Wishing I could go back and perhaps do something sooner to change the outcome. No tears, anger or making deals with my higher power will prevent the inevitable. Knowing this I do what I can to ease his discomfort.
Administering water shots under the skin to prevent dehydration, buying a variety of canned cat foods so he will eat has helped him gain weight. While nightly praying he is not experiencing pain, I have accepted soon my beautiful boy will join his mother and brother in the afterlife. I shall miss him terribly, but will be grateful there is no more suffering.
Woke up Sunday morning to my niece's disappointed voice. She had lost a tooth Saturday late in the evening apparently, the tooth fairy did not leave anything under her pillow. I was confused, we had gone through this on Thursday morning, I was certain the Fairy had left her $5.00, so being the tooth fairy authority, I told her to check again carefully this time.
Nope still nothing, then I remembered her showing me a bloody tooth, while pointing inside her mouth at the hole where it used to be on Saturday night. Sh*t, I forgot she lost the tooth on the other side. I sprang out the bed, went into my sister's room and whispered," Do you have any cash?
She nor I had any cash money on hand. We stood looking at each other screwed. All of a sudden, my sister asked in a serious voice if it was Sunday.
"Yep," I replied.
"Well, that's why she didn't come, the tooth fairy doesn't work on Sundays."
It took everything I had not to bust out laughing.
"Oh, it's Sunday."
Holding my composure, back into the room I walk and explain to my niece, in the same serious voice my sis used, that tooth fairies don't work on Sunday, she had to wait until Monday morning to see what she brings. I went to the store to get cash, so I was ready. Monday morning, the little sh*t, woke me up to tell me, all the tooth fairy left her was $2.00, kids!
Each year I give my mom a unique birthday present. This year was no exception. Since, I had pretty much given her all the origial gifts, I could think of. I had no idea what to give her this year. Closer it got to the day, more nervous I became. Oh, my God, I have outdone myself, now what? After months of pondering, gold was struck. Mom always said she was royal, she wasn't sure how, but was certain of this fact. Lord knows I have raised my eyebrows a few times, witnessing some of her tactics.
With her attitude, she had to be a descendant of royalty. On her birthday, the perfect gift was presented to have her DNA tested. An appointment was made to give her samples, results were supposed to be ready in 22 days. She was ecstatic, days go by with no results. I contacted Medphysicals Plus to find out why was it taking so long.
There was an error, the technician did not get enough samples to get a reading. Mom was crushed, we agreed to have the test performed a second time, they swabbed extra to be sure there was enough samples for the reading. A woman on the phone promisesd this time, they would take care of it. Days passed, no response from Medphysicals Plus.
Twenty days after the initial 22 days promised the 2nd time, I get a call. The problem was not what was stated previously, 42 days after the date we should have been receiving results, I am being told mom's DNA doesn't have a match. Their system has thousands of DNA samples for comparison, my mom just so happens to not match ANY.
Yes ANY, my mouth flew open, mind still stuck on whhhaaaaaat. Out of over a thousand DNA samples, you could not find ONE match for her. Wait! There is more, I was also told even if we took the test somewhere else, results would be the same. What are these people hiding? I now feel DNA testing is a joke or is it? I always knew ole Bev was special, on 11/27/17 it was verified by professionals. This was not the gift I planned, but she is satisfied, love you, mom!
Now that Thanksgiving has passed, thoughts of Christmas and the coming New Year come to mind. With my yearly trip to Georgia coming to an end, I am now looking forward to returning home for a Christmas with snow. December's end will mark the closure of 2017, much has been accomplished this year. It is now time for the creation of my New Year's Resolutions.
The year 2018 have me embarking on a new adventure, planning a trip outside the United States. Luckily, I was fortunate to meet Linda, a retired airline stewardess in the Denver Airport. Of all the travelers in the airport, she chose to sit next to me during a layover. I was confused why she chose to sit this close, there was a reason I sat away from others, near a window.
The first leg of my flight was awful, the middle occupant of the row became ill halfway through the trip, the sound of him choking on throw-up, awoke me out of my sleep, as I scrambled to reach the button to summon a stewardess he jumped up, spewing puke over the end passenger and myself. While in the Denver Airport, sitting alone smelling of liquor and puke, an older woman sat next to me.
Linda either could not smell or did not mind the stench. We began chatting about the book she was reading, and what the true meaning of being woke meant. My upcoming trip to Paris somehow came up during our conversation, I admitted to being apprehensive about leaving the US. It so happens, Linda was a veteran at international travel. She told me, not to be afraid, during her career as a flight attendant, she had visited Paris many times, her children also accompanied her on more than one occasion. She eased my fears by offering tips and advice on how to plan the trip.
We exchanged phone numbers and email, to discuss the specific details. This encounter exemplified my belief, regarding there being a reason for everything. Meeting Linda answered a question for me, I was not sure if vacationing in another country was a good idea. The universe has a way of giving you the answers you seek if you are willing to listen. I am looking forward to my Paris trip and what life has in store for the future.
The mind is a powerful tool. Recently a co-worker informed me, if you draw a circle around an ant, it will remain within the confines of the circle. Immediately it caused me to think about human beings and how we allow others to dictate how far we exceed in life. Outside influences determine your beauty, worth and what you think you can accomplish. Let’s start thinking outside of the circle, moving beyond boundaries set forth by society. True happiness is gained by stepping outside of your comfort zone, do it even if you’re afraid. Test it, see how far you soar.
Just when you think you have life all figured out, life deals you a curveball. What you never expected to happen does. Being wise doesn’t always shield you from life’s twists and turns. When you’re younger there are issues you deal with, one vows to never be caught in a particular predicament again. Wrong, you will go through it again, just in a different manner. We must all go through growing pains or we would never mature mentally or emotionally. Even though it’s a fact of life these events takes you by surprise when they happen.
A very valuable lesson was learned on my part. You never really know somebody, even if you have evaluated and took your time to get to know them. It’s still a crushing blow when you realize there’re not who you believed them to be. Doesn’t make you less of a person, it just mean they fooled you. I learned over the Thanksgiving weekend that just because you’re wise doesn’t mean you know everything. Being wise doesn't stop you from being hurt or letdown it just makes the recovery period a little shorter.
I just read an article about Kaye West really wanting to run for president. After I got through laughing, I felt well, why not. If Donald Trump can run for president why can't Kanye. I even left a comment suggesting that perhaps Donald and Kanye should be running mates. As a matter of fact why not form an entire new party. The Sociopathic Party. Hey, that's fitting. Being a visionary I even took it a step further, after all they are also businessmen. If their bid for presidency fails they can always go on tour as the biggest comedy act EVER.
Sociopathic Party, members two. That's all they need. They will have it all covered. One has the knowledge to handle the deficit, while the other is just plain entertaining.
While on a social site reading the feed line I came across a question being asked by this gentleman, the question read “What do you bright to the table?” There was a typo normally I would have just supplemented the correct word and read on. I wasn’t going to say anything but for some reason this particular evening I was in a mood. It irked my nerves the question was even being asked. Even more infuriating was the fact that he hadn’t bothered to fix the typo. This act was more than my nerves could tolerate.
All of the ridiculous phrases made by men these days came to mind. Like a brewing storm my irritation level began to grow. My fingers began to type “I brought a dictionary” was my response. Of course I added he should not be concerned with what I was BRINGING to the table, but more concerned with what he had to offer. There was no response. At this point all of the statements I had heard men make in the past began to cloud my mind, along with how I would like to respond.
“WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE?” Whatever you wanted at the table you should have already possessed, or apparently you didn’t desire it that bad. If a man is asking such a question he is looking for somebody to split bills with aka a broke man. I am not Beyoncé I have no plans on upgrading anybody.
“I DON’T CHASE WOMEN” of course you don’t you probably chase men, or are too damn lazy to chase anything including a job. You would have to actually chase a woman to get to know her, perhaps you could have figured out what she brought to the table. Instead you are now trying to figure out what the next woman brings while you explain to her why your relationship is “COMPLICATED”.
Your relationship is not complicated you are merely too lazy to get a second job so you don’t have to rely upon her income. You would rather stay in a loveless relationship and cheat. Oh my favorite is “NO DRAMA”. Why would you think there would be drama? Could it be that you are distant, lack communication skills or a cheater? Hmmm, if drama ensued every relationship prior to him meeting the next woman, I am going to make an educated guess on this equation, the drama queen is him.
Last but not least is the old sob story teller/punk, this is a speech not just a statement “I LOVED THIS WOMAN, I TREATED HER LIKE A QUEEN, I BOUGHT HER BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. ALL I EXPECTED HER TO DO WAS BLAH, BLAH. SHE BETRAYED ME BY BEING ON SITES TALKING TO OTHER MEN”. When did talking to men become cheating? Sounds like a case of low self-esteem. How do you expect a woman to love/respect/care for you when you don't love/respect/care for yourself? Yes, forgive me lord for I was petty.
Praying, meditation, yoga, exercise, eating right, fasting anything used to put you in a relaxed state of mind. Believing in a higher power, positive energy whatever you need to balance your sense of well-being should be considered ok. After all, we are not here to be in constant turmoil or pain. Magic, numerology, astrology we have all wondered about these things.
Some are afraid to acknowledge or show interest in something that is outside of the normal scope of reality. For some religion has made them feel you shouldn’t dabble in astrology, magic, or numerology. One should never judge nor should you speak on something you have no knowledge of.
You cannot possibly make a decision based upon just one reality. You have to factor in all aspects to make an accurate decision. Some will not agree but, to me religion is no different. Christians speak of Satan yet not many have taken the time to read the Satanic Bible.
Are they afraid reading the book will somehow taint them and they’ll become evil? All of their prayer and do they not believe that the lord will protect them as they find out what the enemy is up to. Many have opinions on what is good or bad, they will try to entice you to follow them.
We were given brains and freedom of choice. When you consider all the factors many things become clear. Once you have collected all the information, you become intelligent enough to arrive at the right conclusion. Not everybody is born to be a leader. Me, I have a hard time following somebody that has not taken the time to become knowledgeable about everything before leading me into battle.